My latest assignment at work was somewhat small, and the requirements were fairly straightforward so I got to work immediately. My early requests to meet with my user were met with “let’s get a demo first.” Given the availability of all parties involved, this took longer than I would have liked.
So here I am, 60 work-hours later, I have a fully functional, ready-to-deploy application, and I have yet to meet with my user. Let’s sincerely hope he doesn’t decide that this isn’t what he wanted in the first place.
Then my office-mate recognized our new development process. Ladies and gentlement, I give you Eliga!
Eliga is the opposite of agile. Here is our manifesto:
Forget users, they will only slow me down! Don’t disturb me when I’m coding you peons! I’ll hear your impressions when I’m finished! I can’t be bothered with workflow changes! They’re already coded and set in stone!