Eliga - A New Development Methodology

My latest assignment at work was somewhat small, and the requirements were fairly straightforward so I got to work immediately.  My early requests to meet with my user were met with “let’s get a demo first.”  Given the availability of all parties involved, this took longer than I would have liked.

So here I am, 60 work-hours later, I have a fully functional, ready-to-deploy application, and I have yet to meet with my user.  Let’s sincerely hope he doesn’t decide that this isn’t what he wanted in the first place.

Then my office-mate recognized our new development process.  Ladies and gentlement, I give you Eliga! 

Eliga is the opposite of agile.  Here is our manifesto:

Forget users, they will only slow me down!  Don’t disturb me when I’m coding you peons!  I’ll hear your impressions when I’m finished!  I can’t be bothered with workflow changes!  They’re already coded and set in stone!